The storm came in the early hours of the morning. I heard her loud voice in the dreamy recesses of my mind. She thundered and shook, and I let my spirit play with the decision of moving towards her or away from her. In moving away from the storm, I would feel protected, yet silenced...riding out her wrath, waiting for the perception of balance to restore itself. I could go towards her shaking my fists-- not mad at her, just mad-- letting it all out. My inner me honoring my truth, being heard. Or is that perception, too? Would I be heard over her loud voice, her tears drowning mine? She is crying for all of humanity, she is crying for earth. Are my tears just for me? Just about me?
The thunder rolls through again. I decide to go in towards the quiet, to where I can hear myself think. Though, think is such the wrong word as I am listening to my soul not my mind. Cover me, protect me. I drape a shield over my physical body like an umbrella directing torrents of wind and rain away. Here, I am dry and cocooned.
The lightning strikes, it blinds my closed eyes into opening and I stand up-- no more, I scream. I run towards her, the storm, and she and I dance caught up in each other's frenzied energy. We laugh, too. Her tears cleanse me. First, my body washing away years of protective layers. Then, my mind, the cleansing washing away the old. I breathe in all things new and possible. Then, it is my spirit's turn. My spirit dances-laughs, does moves my body cannot do. I watch her; she is fun and light and free.
I lay on the earth as the last few drops of rain fall over me to hear a quiet I rarely hear. I am so present there is nothing. I have tuned out the birds. I have tuned out the wind. I have tuned it all away to hear the silence of what remains, and it is beautiful. This is what I dreamed.
Faith in mankind has truly been tested these past few months. I keep hoping people will care about others. I keep expecting people to choose kindness and to choose respect for others. I don't know why. That's on me.
I held a Death Cafe meeting tonight. My hope for the human race was once again squelched by a group of young boys who interrupted quite rudely. They were apparently there to talk about penises, not death. I had openly presented the password so that everyone who wanted to come talk about a difficult subject could do so. I had left the meeting password open so people who made the decision last minute to walk through the Death Cafe door could do so at will. I can no longer do that. I left the door open. That's on me.
I had done the same with my yoga classes...offering them to everybody and anybody who wanted to come, free of charge, but thanks to these boys with nothing better to do, I had to spend time putting passwords on my classes. You will have to spend extra time messaging me for the password because of these kids. I never blog or comment on social media when I am angry yet, here I am. (I just deleted a paragraph of ranting you can probably come up with in your head.) The reason I do not is because I recognize my anger is temporary and simply a vampire to my own energy. For the moment, that's also on me.
But, what is not on me is staying silent as my throat chakra demands a voice. I am mad at their parents for not knowing what their kids were up to, which I realize is irrational and mostly not possible, but I am also mad they didn't incorporate manners into their teachings. I am mad at those kids for disrespecting a sacred space that had been created to cover a challenging topic. I am mad people just do not get basic human kindness. And, I am mad at myself for leaving the door open. That won't happen again. And, that's on me.
The title to this blog is insufficient because it needs to be followed by the addition of we all have a right and a need to be heard. It doesn't matter if I say something aloud to my dog (well, maybe it does!); we need validation that someone gets us or at least gets the struggle of our humanness. I was recently interviewed on a local podcast to talk about my book, The Horizon is Here, and many other things. We covered death versus dying, life after death...Patanjali's Yoga Sutra came up and the human affinity for attachment. Please take an hour out of your day to listen to the podcast. You may not be there to listen to me.
The two women who run the show are an aunt and a niece who have a story that needs to be heard. Abuse and trauma was so prevalent in their family that they wrote a book about it and created a podcast to reach out to others.
What is your story? What do you want to say, need to say? I hope you may feel safe enough to post it here at the end of this blog. I WILL RESPOND TO YOU. I will hear you. You can email me if you would rather and, again, I will respond. I also want you to consider that what you want to say may seem small to you or not that important in the scheme of world-sized problems. Say it anyway. Maybe you received a recognition that you are proud of but your family was too busy to acknowledge. Whatever it may be, reach out in some capacity so that you feel your inner truth is being heard. There are people out there who want to listen:)
Click on this link to get to the podcast:
I recently re-did a yoga theme that I first presented back in 2013. It was a challenge taken from a book called E-Squared by Pam Grout. The challenge is to dedicate yourself to being completely open to the signs from the Universe for 48 hours. I will explain, but first, I want you to know that this yoga class can be found on YouTube if you would like to hear more about this and get some instruction from me on setting intentions. The link is below.
E-Squared is a book that sets out to prove that the Universe is listening to our requests and needs. It is a fabulous book for skeptics, in my opinion. I believe the Universe answers everything we ask. You may be thinking, that is not so! Perhaps you asked for help in some regard via a sign, and it never came. Or you put forth a prayer for a sign and it, too, never came. I have to tell you from my personal, non-scientifically proven opinion that the sign did come to you. It just wasn't in the direction you were looking or format you were expecting.
I am hoping you will join me in this challenge. You will simply designate 48 hours in which you will wholeheartedly be open to seeing and receiving a message from the Universe. Write down the day and time you wish to start and say or write NOW. If you get sidetracked in those 48 hours by an external factor called Life, you may want to reset and start over. Then, set the very simple and open-ended intention by saying, "It is my intention to be completely open and receptive for 48 hours to whatever sign the Universe provides me with as proof of its responsive existence." You can change the words; just keep the statement positively worded. And, at this point, let's not make the request for a sign pertaining a specific matter. All that is left to do is sit back, wide-eyed and open-hearted. Look for unexpected phone calls, white feathers, your loved one's favorite bird, unexpected good news (which, unfortunately, leaves itself wide open in this day and time) etc, etc, etc. It could be anything that is out of the ordinary or hopeful or meaningful to you.
Then, come back to this blog and leave a comment as to what occurred for you. I can't wait to hear from you:)
Copyright June-December 2020
I write to empower people in their lives. Whether it is a mantra, positive intention, sign from the Universe or something altogether different, I just hope you find something inspirational in what I write that seems to be what you needed