I noticed my stapler sitting askew on my desk. I tried to think back to the last time I had even used it. I did chuckle to myself that it would be useful right now in stapling what appears to be the loose ends of my world together. Sometimes, amidst all the chaos, I feel like I cannot breathe or cannot think or cannot possibly fold the laundry one more time- how about you? The problem with the stapler is that it does not discriminate amongst the good and bad before it collectively binds everything. It just gathers the whole lot and, with one smack of the hand, combines them all.
I would rather my struggles be in a binder where I can tear them out when I am done with them. Or a paperclip would be good; that would allow me to pull a sheet to freedom , crumple it up if and when I choose and let it go...
The stapler is much like authoring each of your days with a pen. A pencil and eraser are so much simpler. Do they still make Erasermate pens? Hah, I remember when those came out! The reason the ink was erasable was because it bonded more lightly to the paper. But did the ink really completely disappear? Sometimes, it would smudge. Other times, it did seem the written word had vanished. Though truly, the missing word was simply the hidden result of friction. The ink was created to allow the color particles to separate when warmed up thereby "disappearing" or becoming clear. Supposedly, and I have never tried this, if the paper reaches a certain cold temperature the words reappear. Where am I heading with this train of thought? Life may simply be easier if we deal with issues as they arise and then peacefully let them go. We cannot erase the past-- people, memories, emotions-- so why try? Let's practice stapling together all of our good. If we release the other as it arises, it seems we may not have to contend with its ability to magically reappear ever again.
I drew an oracle card to write about. I set my intention to draw the card someone needed to hear and I pulled "Trust". The card has a picture of a girl with her eyes closed and her long blond hair flowing behind her. Her arms are open wide and she's leaning forward as if she were about to fall towards her destiny. She is trusting. She is trusting the Universe to take her wherever it is she needs to go. In pulling this card I wonder if you are as trusting and receptive to the idea that we will end up where we are supposed to.
Take a winding river, for example. The riverbanks contain the water giving it freedom to move as slowly or quickly as it chooses. If we were to toss a leaf into the river to watch it be swept away, we do not know where the leaf will end up but the river does. The river always ends up where it is supposed to. It flows freely adapting with rocks in its path, adapting to life.
I want to tell you more about the card. The girl is wearing a green dress, which represents the heart chakra. To trust undeniably, we must listen to and be guided from the heart. Around her waist is a wide purple belt. Purple is a spiritual color. Purple asks us to trust the unseen support around us in the presence of spirit guides, angels, or beyond. And purple is about listening to your intuition. Again, trusting but this time trusting ourselves. Her wide belt hugs the solar plexus chakra...an energy center that becomes imbalanced when we seek to control. In trusting, there is no control to be had. I wonder if any of this is resonating with you. Are you the person that needed the Trust card? I hope you will pause a moment to close your eyes, throw your arms open wide, and resolve to letting go. When you are able to do just that, allowing peace to embrace you, then you will know you have settled into the hands of Trust.
I titled this blog as such because I looked back at my last post to see a month has gone by already! How can that be? But in this "new" dynamic of staying close to home and not working, perhaps, in the way we used to, the days have become a blur. How often do you have to stop and think about what day of the week it is? I do...often! For many of us, I think every morning we wake up comes with the utterance, here goes another day. They are all similar with no change yet in sight.
So, I thought this morning, what can we do about that?
There is a Sanskrit mantra, Soham (or you can say it backwards, Hamsa). It means "I am". I am assigning some homework here for those who want to wake up differently each morning. It is not the concept of the day that is important. It is how you and I feel and perceive our day. So, I challenge you upon waking to simply say Soham three times in your head before moving (pronounced so- hummm). Feel the "I am-ness" settle in; the idea that you are amazing and enough the way you are. Encourage this thought to morph into the idea that because you are perfect the way you are, your day can be, too. You have the choice to make the day the way you want it to be and manifest your own happiness.
Let's also attempt to be more in the present moment noticing everything! Look around you and see little things you have forgotten about or not noticed before. Be conscious of the sounds around you and then practice going within and tuning them out. Feel the sun, a breeze, your clothes on your skin...focusing on the smallest of sensations even. Today, I want you to actually taste each bite of your food rather than eat to simply consume. And, notice the smells around you. Instead of begrudging the laundry, add some lavender to it and inhale deeply when you pull it out of the dryer. Focusing on our senses is an easy way to be present.
Let me know in the comment section what you thought of this mantra and what you noticed that you would normally have missed!
The storm came in the early hours of the morning. I heard her loud voice in the dreamy recesses of my mind. She thundered and shook, and I let my spirit play with the decision of moving towards her or away from her. In moving away from the storm, I would feel protected, yet silenced...riding out her wrath, waiting for the perception of balance to restore itself. I could go towards her shaking my fists-- not mad at her, just mad-- letting it all out. My inner me honoring my truth, being heard. Or is that perception, too? Would I be heard over her loud voice, her tears drowning mine? She is crying for all of humanity, she is crying for earth. Are my tears just for me? Just about me?
The thunder rolls through again. I decide to go in towards the quiet, to where I can hear myself think. Though, think is such the wrong word as I am listening to my soul not my mind. Cover me, protect me. I drape a shield over my physical body like an umbrella directing torrents of wind and rain away. Here, I am dry and cocooned.
The lightning strikes, it blinds my closed eyes into opening and I stand up-- no more, I scream. I run towards her, the storm, and she and I dance caught up in each other's frenzied energy. We laugh, too. Her tears cleanse me. First, my body washing away years of protective layers. Then, my mind, the cleansing washing away the old. I breathe in all things new and possible. Then, it is my spirit's turn. My spirit dances-laughs, does moves my body cannot do. I watch her; she is fun and light and free.
I lay on the earth as the last few drops of rain fall over me to hear a quiet I rarely hear. I am so present there is nothing. I have tuned out the birds. I have tuned out the wind. I have tuned it all away to hear the silence of what remains, and it is beautiful. This is what I dreamed.
Faith in mankind has truly been tested these past few months. I keep hoping people will care about others. I keep expecting people to choose kindness and to choose respect for others. I don't know why. That's on me.
I held a Death Cafe meeting tonight. My hope for the human race was once again squelched by a group of young boys who interrupted quite rudely. They were apparently there to talk about penises, not death. I had openly presented the password so that everyone who wanted to come talk about a difficult subject could do so. I had left the meeting password open so people who made the decision last minute to walk through the Death Cafe door could do so at will. I can no longer do that. I left the door open. That's on me.
I had done the same with my yoga classes...offering them to everybody and anybody who wanted to come, free of charge, but thanks to these boys with nothing better to do, I had to spend time putting passwords on my classes. You will have to spend extra time messaging me for the password because of these kids. I never blog or comment on social media when I am angry yet, here I am. (I just deleted a paragraph of ranting you can probably come up with in your head.) The reason I do not is because I recognize my anger is temporary and simply a vampire to my own energy. For the moment, that's also on me.
But, what is not on me is staying silent as my throat chakra demands a voice. I am mad at their parents for not knowing what their kids were up to, which I realize is irrational and mostly not possible, but I am also mad they didn't incorporate manners into their teachings. I am mad at those kids for disrespecting a sacred space that had been created to cover a challenging topic. I am mad people just do not get basic human kindness. And, I am mad at myself for leaving the door open. That won't happen again. And, that's on me.
The title to this blog is insufficient because it needs to be followed by the addition of we all have a right and a need to be heard. It doesn't matter if I say something aloud to my dog (well, maybe it does!); we need validation that someone gets us or at least gets the struggle of our humanness. I was recently interviewed on a local podcast to talk about my book, The Horizon is Here, and many other things. We covered death versus dying, life after death...Patanjali's Yoga Sutra came up and the human affinity for attachment. Please take an hour out of your day to listen to the podcast. You may not be there to listen to me.
The two women who run the show are an aunt and a niece who have a story that needs to be heard. Abuse and trauma was so prevalent in their family that they wrote a book about it and created a podcast to reach out to others.
What is your story? What do you want to say, need to say? I hope you may feel safe enough to post it here at the end of this blog. I WILL RESPOND TO YOU. I will hear you. You can email me if you would rather and, again, I will respond. I also want you to consider that what you want to say may seem small to you or not that important in the scheme of world-sized problems. Say it anyway. Maybe you received a recognition that you are proud of but your family was too busy to acknowledge. Whatever it may be, reach out in some capacity so that you feel your inner truth is being heard. There are people out there who want to listen:)
Click on this link to get to the podcast:
I recently re-did a yoga theme that I first presented back in 2013. It was a challenge taken from a book called E-Squared by Pam Grout. The challenge is to dedicate yourself to being completely open to the signs from the Universe for 48 hours. I will explain, but first, I want you to know that this yoga class can be found on YouTube if you would like to hear more about this and get some instruction from me on setting intentions. The link is below.
E-Squared is a book that sets out to prove that the Universe is listening to our requests and needs. It is a fabulous book for skeptics, in my opinion. I believe the Universe answers everything we ask. You may be thinking, that is not so! Perhaps you asked for help in some regard via a sign, and it never came. Or you put forth a prayer for a sign and it, too, never came. I have to tell you from my personal, non-scientifically proven opinion that the sign did come to you. It just wasn't in the direction you were looking or format you were expecting.
I am hoping you will join me in this challenge. You will simply designate 48 hours in which you will wholeheartedly be open to seeing and receiving a message from the Universe. Write down the day and time you wish to start and say or write NOW. If you get sidetracked in those 48 hours by an external factor called Life, you may want to reset and start over. Then, set the very simple and open-ended intention by saying, "It is my intention to be completely open and receptive for 48 hours to whatever sign the Universe provides me with as proof of its responsive existence." You can change the words; just keep the statement positively worded. And, at this point, let's not make the request for a sign pertaining a specific matter. All that is left to do is sit back, wide-eyed and open-hearted. Look for unexpected phone calls, white feathers, your loved one's favorite bird, unexpected good news (which, unfortunately, leaves itself wide open in this day and time) etc, etc, etc. It could be anything that is out of the ordinary or hopeful or meaningful to you.
Then, come back to this blog and leave a comment as to what occurred for you. I can't wait to hear from you:)
Those of you who know me or have read my book, The Horizon is Here, know that I do not believe in coincidences. I believe everything around us is a message, a lesson, or a sign. For about the past year, I have been thinking about a second tattoo. My first one says infinite love (Om sign) gratitude. It is on my forearm in a Sanskrit font, and it makes me feel empowered. The one I am working on in my head is a sunflower of some type. The reason it is taking me so long is I do not know where to put it! I want to be able to see it, otherwise, why get it? But, I also want to be able to cover it if "need" be. Hence, my quandary!
I have never been drawn to sunflowers before but I know I am on the right symbolic path. As to no coincidences, sunflowers have been popping up all around me. And, not the real ones, which validates to me, again, that there are no coincidences. I was searching online last night for a necklace I have conjured up in my head; more specifically, a pendant that has nothing to do with flowers. But, guess what popped up? A sunflower charm. I am halfway through my master's in clinical mental health counseling and the classmate that I randomly chose to work with this week had (you guessed it) a sunflower tattoo on her shoulder.
Sunflowers stand for longevity and love. The yellow ones (I did not know there were other colors!) honor the sun. That makes sense. The sun offers light; our world seems to be covered in a shroud of darkness so I think that is one reason I am being drawn more resolutely to the sunflower. The word guru means leading someone from darkness into light. I think the sunflower will be a great reminder that you have to know darkness to know light. But, the light always comes. It may be a glimmer at first, but it always seems to appear just when we need it most.
Look for the "coincidences" in your world; the signs that keep popping up over and over again. They are life lessons and messages. It could be a person, a song, a number, an object, an animal...then, look up its symbolism and see where it applies to you. Comment below and let me know what you find:)
I have finally published my book, and I am thankful. I have wanted to publish a book since I was in high school although, back then, I thought it would be a poetry book. This dream definitely waited for me to come to it. What I mean by that is, of course, I could have sat down decades ago to write but I could not have written this book. I am so glad the Universe helped hold me back until everything aligned: the stories, the book cover, the formatting...all of it. Even the title, The Horizon is Here, came to me in a dream. I wrote it down the next morning and held onto it for years. This title is important in that it references staying in the present. Worries and fears are past and present-based. When we are focused on this immediate moment, then chitta vritti (Sanskrit for mind chatter) cannot exist.
So many people listened to me talk about this book for years! Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for not telling me you didn't think I would ever finish it even if that is what you were thinking! Thank you to everyone who has told me how much they like the book. I thought long and hard about publishing my personal stories and thoughts but my dharma, true path, is to help others, and my hope that this book could be helpful won out over worry.
I just want people to know they matter, that they are perfect the way they are, and they have a right to be loved. I want you to know that the Universe is giving, and it wants you to have what you ask for...just make sure you are wording your request in a positive way. I want to help you put together an imaginary toolkit filled with mantras, positive affirmations, deep breathing, and so much more so you do feel empowered in your life. I want you to see your life lessons clearly so you can learn from them and move on, because that is what we are here for. I want you to read my stories and begin to take yours apart.
So, for all of this, I am grateful, and I thank you.
Copyright June-September 2020
I write to empower people in their lives. Whether it is a mantra, positive intention, sign from the Universe or something altogether different, I just hope you find something inspirational in what I write that seems to be what you needed